Understanding a woman

Every woman has a basic desire, something deep down in her heart that she wants to achieve. Often this desire changes with age and time such that if she is married to a man who is not sensitive to her needs, it could be disastrous! Not all these desires are monetary based neither are all of them legitimate. It’s not all diamonds and pearls and the shiny things of this world as some men erroneously think. Sometimes it could be a sense of adventure. Do something crazy and different to break boredom or the routine flow of things.

The desires of a woman are like the wants of a human being on a general economic scale: they are simply insatiable! So a man who is married or engaged to the modern sensitive woman has to bide his emotional antennae, and try to understand what the torrential mood swings of the woman he loves really are. Sometimes, she does not even know herself!

Morning Blues: This is a psychological state that a lot of women suffer from. It is not a disease per se, just a mood. Although its name roots it as occurring early in the day, sometimes it can start any time and last for the length of day; and can often affect everything a woman sees in her path. Generally women have mood swings: anger, frustration, fear and trepidation. This not to say that men do not go through these mood swings. The difference usually is the men are often much better at dispelling these feelings with various distractions. Sometimes what the man would simply do is bottle it up or put a lid on it. Shout it out of their system by fighting with someone or something. A boxing bag at the club often serves this role. Their female counterparts often wear it on their faces like an emblem such that it can be read, the man is familiar with the situation, and like an open book he can read the frustration but is often at loss about what to do. Hold her in his arms and say “its going to be okay!” Tell her that “you can talk to me you know”. Most women would look outside the union to express those feelings. God help the man if she is talking to her unmarried friends.

Jealous Flashes: Often times we have seen a theme in TV advertising where a man’s look sways to another woman, even when he is in the company of his partner. The process occurs in real life. Both sexes do it! But while a man is not too troubled with a woman whose gaze sways to another man, the same is not usually acceptable to a woman. A woman who catches her man looking at another woman can break out in jealous flashes. She could immediately begin to wonder if she is not good enough for him. Could it be that he is attracted by her( the other woman’s) dressing, hairstyle, figure or her mere presence? The man who sees his woman’s gaze sway may not necessarily react in a flash of anger, his usual response is to do something that would reaffirm his “possession” in subtle way of the woman in question. He could, where it is necessary, show the other man with out being too loud that “the girl is mine!” Whereas the lady would not only act it, but would speak or scream it to everybody’s hearing.

Trying to out do the competition: The competitive nature of human beings is expressed more among men than women. That probably accounts for the man’s psychological, almost compulsive love for competitive sporting activity. Most women dislike football(American or European), wrestling, boxing, basketball and other competitive sport. Those who can stomach these sports enjoy them with their men. The women would rather watch a soap opera. It is a grievous error for a woman to try and compete with her husband’s sports. They hold different places in the heart of a man. Of course if he is made to choose he would choose right, but men hate it when they are made to choose in such situations. While the men would often fight, fume and even try to out do one another by spending money or speaking sweetly,  it is a form of competition for the man’s ego and the woman is seen as a prize. Some men would actually lose interest in the prize  on the aftermath of the competition after they have actually won.  A woman likes to know that she is the best for the man, so she would sometimes do strange things for her man to prove it. Some women would work from the kitchen to the bedroom to the fashion and hairstylist, just to get the approval of the man. No woman should let up on these, even after many years of marriage. There is the tendency for a woman, after some years of marriage relationship, to let up on her figure, dress sense, cooking and general appearance. At the moment where a woman seizes to care, the man could start to be distracted. Sometimes until it is very late, he does not know that he has been distracted!

Sex is not always the answer: Many couples erroneously believe that sex is a panacea to most marriage problems. Sexual intercourse practiced by a married couple is an important part of the relationship no doubt. Sex is the ultimate expression of love and communication between the people in the union. But when things go wrong, it is much better to resolve the issues by having lengthy and truthful discussions, rather than jumping into bed and thinking that a bout of passionate intercourse has resolved or solved all problems. Often our women feel neglected when their men have not made an advance for sex over a period of time. Questions begin to run through their minds about their status with their husbands. No sex could lead to stress. The general feeling on the part of the women is that it is the man who wants it most. But recent developments have shown that a lot a women want it even as much as the men do. The only complication is not all of the women like to ask. They would rather prefer for the men to ask. Dignity and tradition often prevents a woman from asking outright, so she uses body language. If the man ignores or misunderstands her, then anger could set in.

Generally the anger of woman is born out of insecurity, a feeling of fear. She is afraid, for instance that she would lose her husband to another woman, that another woman would take her place of prominence with her husband. Fear of her losing ground in any form whatsoever would lead to a bad mood which would show greatly in everyday life. Because of the wide range of emotions that a woman displays questions have often been asked about the possibility of a man understanding a woman.  Once upon a time a man that was close to God and good in his ways had God appear to him and tell him to make any request that it would be granted him. He asked that God should help him build a bridge that would link Hawaii, an island in America with the American main land. God said it was a huge project that why doesn’t the man think of something else? The man then said please God help me to understand my wife! God hesitated and then said: Forget that, when should we start the bridge?