Lashing out at a partner with abusive words is a common trait among some couples these days. Hurt is expressed and felt via the spoken word and words do hurt. Invectives poured out on someone you supposedly love can be like venom or acid as they leave indelible marks on the psyche of the person concerned. The person who uses abusive language does so for several reasons. First, there is an urgent need to lash out at the so called "adversary" in a bid to be even because of one offense or the other. Some attackers have hobby horses: a consistent diatribe that they use in their bid to gain points during the heated exchange. They know for sure that a graphic description of that past event or flaw would definitely hit home. Sometimes temper tantrums are thrown to beat a partner into submission. Its much like applying a life-threatening strangle-hold in a wrestling match: the victim has no alternative but to submit or be maimed forever. Bad words are used in this sense as a crutch to keep the victim where his assailant wants him: in a perpetual condition of "Ok have it your way!"
Quite often abusers use words to build a smokescreen that hides the truth and keeps the opponent on the receiving end, thus the upper hand is sought and found while the victim in the situation comes out scathed, knowing what the truth is but still
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